Showing posts with label Husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Husband. Show all posts

Monday 13 February 2017

In a Marriage

In a Marriage
The apostle Peter states,
“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,  when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.  
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  
Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  
For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. 
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 1 Peter 3:1-7.
Here is a potential controversial statement in the twenty-first century, “wives should be submissive to their husbands.”
However we should note that within Christianity women be they married or single are equal to men in every way.
Just because a woman or for that matter anyone submits to someone does not take away their equality or make them any less of a person.
Everything Peter is saying here can and I believe does apply to both spouses.
What Peter is saying is that a woman should not try to attract or keep a man by her outward adornment. Nor should a man.
We here in North America live in a very if you will “vain” age. Just turn on any television station and you are bombarded with cosmetic and clothing advertisements promising to make you look more beautiful and younger.
What Peter says is,
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  
Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
Our beauty should not come from what we look like on the outside but from our inward character. Many men and women have been let down over the years indeed the centuries when they’ve met a man or woman who looks beautiful only to find out they are not the person they thought they were.
That being said, I think it’s true to say some, perhaps most, couples when they first meet look at the persons outward appearance. But if that’s all you base your relationship on that relationship will fail. It is what is on the inside of any person that counts.
I’ve been married now for close to forty years and I know many people who have been married equally as long many longer. All will tell you their spouse is their best friend. They are, if you will, soul mates. Their love comes from within not what they see on the outside.
While many Christian wives I know will tell you they tend to submit to their husbands on most occasions. They will in no uncertain words tell you they are every bit his equal and are able to direct him and at times steer him away from bad decisions.
My first pastors wife half in jest told me “the man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck and the neck turns the head.” 
What she meant was a successful marriage is a partnership of equals in which the couple works in unison. The neck is no less important than the head.
This is what Peter is talking about. Peter notes,
“...if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,  when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”
My last pastors wife is an example of this. She came to know the Lord first. She proceeded to live her life for God in front of him. She went to church even took their children. She was consistent in her faith. She did not force her faith on him. She simple lived her faith in front of him. This led to him to not only accept Christ as his Saviour but go on to become a pastor.  
This is something even husbands of non-believing wives can do also.
Peter’s other statement in this passage is aimed directly at husbands but again can apply to the wife also. He states,
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
Peter is obviously a man of his day. He calls the wife “a weaker partner”. This is a statement I can remember my grandparents using. Even my parents used this term occasionally, and they were each others equal and as liberal and progressive as anyone I’ve met from their generation. It’s as I said a cultural thing.
As I have said, we who live in North America and the western world today would say rightly, women are as strong and in everyway mans equal.
Thus Peters sentiment here that husbands treat their wives with respect applies to both spouses. The implication being if the husband, or for that matter the wife, does not do so it can hinder his prayer life.
As Christians within a marriage we are equal. Both spouses must respect each other. Our beauty should not be from how we adorn ourselves on the outside but come from deep inside our soul. For when it does a marriage will last a lifetime and a Christian marriage will point people to Christ.
Please think about it.

Wednesday 14 January 2015

About Marriage

About Marriage

“Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.
But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.  
Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  
I say this as a concession, not as a command.  
I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.  But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife."
1 Corinthians 7:1-11
Here Paul makes it clear that it is good for people to marry that in the marriage relationship the wife belongs to the husband and the husband belongs to the wife. In short they are one.
He makes it clear that they should not deprive each other of sexual intimacy except by mutual consent for a short time.
Paul realized that the God given sex drive was strong in people and that Satan could use it to tempt people to sin. That’s why he goes on to say,
“It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
He then states that a wife must not separate from her husband and if she does she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. That a husband should not divorce his wife.
I have heard this particular statement used to say the wife in particular should stay in an abusive situation. THIS IS NOT THE CASE.
If the wife or for that matter the husband is being abused then that violates God’s laws and action to end the abusive situation needs to be taken swiftly.
The other point here Paul says a husband must not divorce his wife has to be understood. In Paul’s day it was possible under Jewish law for a husband to divorce his wife for trivial things. Even things as simple burning the meal.
Paul is saying here that marriage should be a love relationship in which the husband and the wife treat each other as they would themselves.
I believe marriage is Gods ideal for a man and a woman. That it has it’s ups and downs.
As someone who has been married now for thirty-six years I know it has to be worked on. Two people will not always agree on things and they have to be talked about and at time compromises made.
The covenant of marriage however can be the most rewarding thing two human beings can enter into.
It for me and my wife has been an incredible journey through trial, tragedy and above all incredible times of happiness.
We have found that no matter what we have gone through our love for each other and the love of God has always been there to get us through.
I can think of no better way than to have spent my life than sharing it with my wife.
It is something I would wish for everyone.