Faith and Mental Health

Faith and Mental illness.
(A personal note)
Every so often I like to speak on a very personal note. This is one of them.
I have been a Christian now for over forty years. In those forty years I’ve gone through a lot. By far the hardest is living with Bi-polar affective disorder (manic depression).
Bi-polar disorder is when you cycle between ultra highs (mania) and ultra lows (depression) several times a year for long periods of time.
When I’m depressed suicide has crossed my mind. Most of the time however I just want to roll up in a ball and sleep.
When I’m on a manic high it’s get out of my way I can do it better and faster. I do several things at the same time and get nothing finished. The mania feels good. But you do stupid things like spend a lot of money and have nothing to show for it. You tend to do risky things to say the least.
I have a particularly bad version I what is referred to as rapid cycle. Most who rapid cycle do so a half dozen or so times a year. I can go between highs and lows four or five times a day. It can be a wild ride at times.
However with the right combination of therapies it can be controlled, and not just drug therapy. You also need various group therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy, that helps you learn how to recognize the signs of your illness and how to react to it.
Before I was diagnosed correctly I didn’t really know what was happening. My sometimes crazy even bazar behaviour was considered by both myself, my family and friends as normal.
I was described by several people as having a quote “artistic personality”.
When I was diagnosed in my late forties, things started to fit into place. It became clear that I’d probably had it all of my life.
Prior to the diagnosis however I knew there was something wrong. Especially when the depression hit. There were as I said,times when suicide crossed my mind.
It was during those times that I was glad of my faith in Christ. I could turn to Him in prayer. Spend time alone with Him.
It was in those times that Jesus gave me strength.
Jesus said,
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” 
               John10:10.
That thief for me was Bi-polar disorder. It threatened to take my life. And it very well could have, had I not had faith that with Jesus in my life I could have life to the full.
I was blessed. I had what amounted to a mental breakdown on the side of a highway on the way home from work. That triggered a series of events that put me on the path to a solution.
After the breakdown my family doctor sent me to a psychiatrist who after some time put a name to what I have and told me to try and change my lifestyle. I did.
Before I was stable however my first psychiatrist died sending me to a second one who started me on a series of trial and error drug combinations most of which I couldn’t handle. I did get somewhat stabilized before he finally retired and my care when to my current Psychiatrist who has managed to relatively stabilize me.
I say relatively because I do at times have very, very, bad times. There is no cure currently for Bipolar you can only control it.
Now I say all of that to raise awareness of not just Bi-polar disorder but of all mental illnesses. One in five Canadians suffer from mental illness and that number I believe is the norm in most western countries. Most if not the majority do not get help.
I have found that particularly in the church and Charismatic and Pentecostal churches seem to be the worst when it come to anything related to mental illness. They don’t want to admit there can be problems with the brain in the same way the rest of the body has problems. That the brain is an organ like any other.
Over the years I’ve been told by some in the church that mental illness is not real. I’ve even being accuse of being demon possessed. That psychiatrist are little more than pill popping witch doctors. Which is complete garbage spoken by ignorant people.
I firmly believe that God created doctors for a reason and that includes psychiatrist. And we need to use them if necessary. Not to do so or to instruct others not to do so, is morally wrong.
I am very well aware of mental health issues, apart from living with Bi-polar disorder I am also a volunteer speaker with the Canadian Mental Health Association here where I live. With the goal of raising awareness about mental health and telling people what it’s like to live with a mental health problem.
That being said I accredit my faith with my being alive today. Jesus said,
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 
                                                         Matthew 11:28-30.
I believe that to be true. In my darkest hours Jesus has been there for me giving me rest.
At the same time I would issue a warning to Christians reading this.
If you are feeling depressed for long periods of time. If you have episodes in your life where you have odd behaviour. Or if you hear voices or other odd things. Don’t be afraid to go to your family doctor or to a hospital and get help.
Getting help from a doctor does not lessen your faith no matter what you go for help for. The key is get help.
I firmly believe that God directed me to all the right doctors at the right time. As a result it saved my life.
Here in Canada the Canadian Mental Health Association has a great deal of information that can help you. The same is true for other Mental Health Associations in other countries.
I had never heard of Bipolar disorder before I was diagnosed. All I knew when I finally broke down mentally broke that it was time to get some help. I trusted my family doctor and today as a result have learned to live good life, with what is a horrible illness.
So please if you suspect you, or someone you love has a mental health problem get help.
Please think about it. 

My head

My Head
I got the following quote from Your daily dose at Chabad.org a Jewish website. The thoughts are based on letters and talks of the Rebbe, Rabbi M. M. Schneerson.
I can fully relate to what it is saying.
The quote goes like this,
“There is a suit we wear that has a life of its own. It is knitted of the fabric of words, images and sounds, mischievous characters that no one else can see—or would care to know.
You, however, hear them day and night, chattering, buzzing, playing their games in the courtyard of your mind. They are all the threads of the garment of thought that envelops you.
Leave your thoughts to play on their own, and they will take you for a ride to places you never wanted to see.
Grab the reins, master them, direct them, flex your mind, and they will follow. Provide them a script, and they will play along."
I live each day with Bipolar affective disorder (manic depression). It is “relatively” controlled. I say relatively because the type I live with is hard to control and at times gets out of control.
Bipolar is a condition in which moods change from very high, highs (the manic phase) to deep emotional lows (depression).
The depression can get so bad that many sadly, commit suicide. The highs on the other hand cause people to do odd things. They think they’re superman. Have the solution to everything. Their behaviour can become bizarre. They do a dozen or more jobs and don’t finish them. They can get into promiscuous behaviour. Sexual suicide someone has called it.
All of these behaviours can be controlled by the right combination of drug therapy, talk therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy. I know it works it worked for me.
Still however I go through bad times it is then that I am thankful for my faith. You see Rabbi Schneerson described what it is like for my mind when it is both high and low.
As I look at what the Rabbi says I can personalize it like this.
(My mind is), knitted of the fabric of words, images and sounds, mischievous characters that no one else can see—or would care to know.”
(I do), “hear them day and night, chattering, buzzing, playing their games in the courtyard of (my) mind. They are all the threads of the garment of thought that envelops (me).
(If I leave) these thoughts to play on their own, and they will take (me) for a ride to places (I) never wanted to see.”
Rabbi Schneerson however makes an important point when he says,
“Grab the reins, master them, direct them, flex your mind, and they will follow. Provide them a script, and they will play along.”
The reins for me was the Bible. The writer of Deuteronomy states,
“Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  
Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”  
                                                                   Deuteronomy 6:5-7.
It is believed by some scientist that study Bipolar disorder, that some people may be genetically predisposed to the illness. That a traumatic event can trigger it. That certainly was the case for me.
What however kept me from committing suicide or doing other stupid things over the years it took me to become “relatively stable” I firmly believe is my faith.
Long before the Bipolar was triggered I had studied the Bible. I had learned how to keep my thoughts under control.
Thus when the bucking bronco that is Bipolar disorder came I had some of the skills I needed to do to control the dangerous thoughts.
I did seek help from doctors. I believe that is a must. At the same time however before the diagnosis was made, I called on my faith in God to get me through what was one of the worst times in my life.

Post script
Bipolar disorder and any mental illness is a real illness. If you, or anyone you know believe you have a mental health issue see a doctor. Don’t try to cure it yourself. Remember mental illness is as real an illness as any other. Some have likened it to diabetes of the mind.
Like real diabetes you will need the help of a health care professional and medication to control it.
I have sadly seen people both inside and outside the church come to harm because they did not get proper medical help.
I am a firm believer that the only way to deal with mental health problems is through a combination of things. Those things being drug therapy, Psychotherapy, (by seeing a good psychiatrist.), group and behavioural therapy. As well as building around you a team of people that for me has been doctors, my wife, my adult children, family and friends.
All of this coupled with a strong faith has truly helped me. It can work for you.
Post script to my post script
Sometime ago I thought it would be good to visualize what I perceive as my normal brain and my Bipolar brain. The result is the illustration below.
Please think about it.